Alone

Alone
With no one to hold me tight
I cry
Not truly understanding the reasons why
I'm here
Everyday is a struggle to survive
More tears
No courage or strength to continue the fight
The fear
Takes over and the battle is lost
The pain
Of love always comes with a cost
I remain
Numb without anyone to trust

But I push on waiting for a miracle
Hoping for the best
Yet each day that passes by
Continues looking like the rest

Again
I have lost my sense of self
To doubt
Wishing for an easy way out
I smile
While wiping my tears away
Discouraged
Just trying to make it through today
Jaded
Never did I deserve to feel this pain
Tormented
Trapped inside and hidden by lies
I'll say it once again
I'm alone

Yet somehow I find a way
By hoping for the best
That all this hurt's not in vane
But simply just a test

I'm unfocused
Deceived by the many I've met
I believed
I had nothing but the past to forget
The future
Holds nothing of interest to me
I wait
Hoping the world will help me see
I'm wrong
And I'm my only enemy
Yet still
The pain lingers and I'm engulfed
With misery
Dying for a resolution

No miracles in sight
Unable to get some rest
I fight a losing fight
Not knowing what is best

Enraged
By the wrong you've done to me
Engaged
In the darkness trying to flee
From hate
Yet I have no where I can run
Because
I am alone
So cold
The world has proven to be
No remorse
Casting shadows over me
I'm alone
Frightened by destiny

Solemn Choices

Why was it so plain for everyone to see
What you would ultimately do to me
Yet I fell into your arms so naive and lovingly
With passion in my heart but as blind as blind can be

Why was it so obvious to those who weren't there
What was it about you that told them you didn't care
Yet I listened to your words that were utterances of air
With stupidity on face and ignorance a'flair

A man below my level given an equal chance
Loved with all my heart despite your circumstance
Unconditional support with unlimited helping hands
Here forever always yet you chose to turn your back

Never will I understand the choices that you made
Never will I forgive the hurtful games you played
Never will I release myself from the imprisonment of pain
Never will I let myself fall in love again

Why did I go and do this absent minded thing
What was it about you that made my jaded heart sing
When I already knew the sorrows that only man can bring
I let you in, I let you in... I only have myself to blame

Friday the 13th

Moments away from sleep
Shots break out and I rise
Semi-automatic, pop nineteen times
Echos in the air
Stale with cries of grief
Pop pop pop off go another three
Silence chills my bones
Cause I know it'll only be brief
Life in the hood
So I've heard
Numb to the sound of death
I lay back down
Another lost soul lost
I wonder who it was
Twelve minutes have just passed
And the second disturbance comes
Sirens moving slowly
Followed by more guns
One car zooms past
Not a single culprit around
A second car flies by
On a mission racing time
Living by the badge
Such an honourable code
Soon the rest will come
And maybe a life we'll save
Though it's highly unlikely here
It's probably the grave
Calling out in the cold winter's breeze
The ambulance, the firement
And look, the police
Delayed on other calls
I guess it's Friday the thirteenth
Not your lucky day homey
Here comes the homicide truck
Driving by and down the block
I'm sure it's to your crib
To draw a line of chalk
Investigative crime scene
Another unsolved sin
Living in the hood
Numb to the pain within
Safe in a haven of ignorance
Hidden from the rage
Dying to get out
On the humble prayers of chance
Faced with reality
But only from a distant glance
I take a look at my dream
And continue to create my destiny
I don't belong in the hood
I gotta get away
I need to move my babies
Before regrets are made

Eternal Flames

Mmmmmmmm Oh oh whoa oh
It's so hard to see your flame shining in the light
but in the night your heart shines eternally bright
Through the tears I shed for love I've lost
The memories replay and live on... you live on

In my heart, In my mind I don't have to let go
In my body and soul, you will live on I know
My sorrows and pains may bring me to tears
But through it all I will remember you most
When you turned frowns upside down
And laughter from tears
In my heart, in my mind, I don't have to let go
In my body and soul you will be remembered forevermore

Taken from a world of misery and pain
Remembered through all the heartache
Brighter with each day that passes
Your flame grows stronger
Never forgotten
Living eternally in the hearts of others

In my heart I don't have to let go
In my mind I refuse to say no
In my body and soul forevermore
An eternal flame burning bright
A fire within that helps me fight
Though tomorrow may come
And you won't be here
In my heart where you belong
So I have no fear

Times are hard and I wish you were close
Within arms reach
Not a distance voice
Heard in my heart of eternal flames
Saying the show must go on
Discipate the pain
Share my joys my love my songs
Share the wonders my one true love
Share the magic
Stay strong
Rise above and continue burning bright
Never ever give up
I am here where I belong
Eternal flames
Eternal flames

Freedom

I'm not sure what you want
But I quest​ion how you feel
Becau​se my love'​s been torn apart​
Too many times​ for me to conse​al

You test,​ you poke,​ you prod
Looki​ng for somet​hing that isn'​t there​
You push and pull me back and forth​
Yet I'm suppo​sed to belie​ve you care

The words​ you say are heavy​
Yet hold no weigh​t comin​g from your lips
Our argum​ents are many
Casti​ng shadd​ows like an eclip​se

Darke​ning our heart​s
From the light​ that shine​s withi​n
Beggi​ng for us to part
Yet neith​er one can just give in

It's time to just let go
And seal the fate that we have chose​
Time to heal the pain
And turn our backs​ to a door that'​s close​d

Time to say goodb​ye
To somet​hing that felt so right​
Time to remov​e the shadd​ows
And walk towar​ds the light​

Love Restored

Hidden in the light 
for everyone to see
Is the love I have for you
And the love you have for me

Surrounded by the jealousy
Of a past that grew apart
Tearing in two directions
Leaving just one broken heart

Burdened by the sorrow
Of old wounds that need to heal
Patience is a virtue
Thus the secret is now sealed

Lies are told to those
Whose hearts the truth can’t bare
Waiting to unfold
The promise we both share

Fond memories recorded
In the banks of shallow shores
Living in the moment
Knowing love shall be restored

Missing

Was it only just a dream?
An escape from reality
A moment of unrealistic bliss
That had me trapped inside of me

Was it just a figment in my mind?
A twisted plot that's undefined
Created in a world of pain
That had me caught up in a bind

The crisp silence in the air
The stars up in the sky
Was it only a just a glimpse?
That caused the twinkle in my eye

The sanctity of freedom
The blessings from above
The tides along the oceans shore
That filled me with your love

Returned to the world I know
Full of anguish and sorrow
I drop my head and close my eyes
And back to the dream I go

Plight

Thinking of you in the middle of the night
Reminiscing about a time when our love was still tight
Now all we do is argue, cuss and fight
Damn how I wish we could get this shit right

I got an unhealthy infatuation with you
In complete deprivation who knew
Yet still in total saturation we grew
With your love's classification anew

I know you're the one I need in my life
I know I'm the one you want to be your wife
Yet our communication is loaded with strife
Like a possitive formation of a dagger and knife

Words projected in a cataclysmic definition
So far from the others meaningful direction
Tearing apart the other's heart with frustration
Leading one another to an unhealthy infatuation

What a difficult condition and upsetting plight
Knowing our love's formation and heart's insight
Want to bring us close....
Why can't we just get this shit right?

Foolishly

I am just a pawn
A sacrificial piece
Your game will continue on
With or without me
Foolish am I for thinking
That I hold a special thought
In the heart of a King or Queen
Whom loyally I stand guard
I fight for a belief
A moral that must live on
I die for a reason
Yet so quickly I'm forgotten
I can't believe how stupid I can be
To lay my life on a line
You made such a fool out of me
I'm so cowardly and blind
The first to make a move
In a complex game of life
With everything to lose
I move forward in a line
With only one or two steps forward
I'm unable to look back
I draw out the opponent
But only sideways will I attack

I am just a pawn
Here to protect a Queen
Loyally I stand guard
Waiting for a defeat
I lay my life on the line
So someone else can live on
Other's are dying with me
Yet I am standing here alone
The battlefield is limited
Constrained by circumstance
I play my part in your game
Because I'm ensnared by your trance
One more step ahead
Not knowing what the future holds
Believing your freedom will cost my life
So I gracefully lay down my soul
One more step for freedom
A victory I hope to share
Taken out by a Bishop
The game of life just isn't fair

Either you die for the one you love in vain
Or you live on knowing that he is gone
For now I am the Queen of this game
And the battlefield is my home
I placed all the pieces in front of me
To protect me from any harm
Any suiters attempting to persue me
Are taken down by all my pawns
I call out to my soldiers
And they take a step ahead
Laying down their hearts and souls
For someone who is dead
No emotions left to feel
No love to call my own
Just a game of give and take
A game that continues on
With or without you here
This game will still be played
A broken heart makes a lonely Queen
Stagnant and disdained

For lack of a better word

Uncertainty sustains the limbic motions
It's not what's inside that counts anymore
Oh no... it is what is on the outside
The superficial rollercoaster
Guided by materialistic dreams
Sends hearts and souls alike
On a never ending winding road
Full of ups and downs
Tearing apart the whole

Adversity perpetuates the guilty pleasures
When pain shuts the vain to the heart
The body seeks sin
A touch a glance a kiss from anyone
To fulfill the dying urge within
Closed out from the world a blackened soul
Dying to escape
Finds a partner in crime
So the circles can now begin

Three hundred and sixty degrees
Turns a once timid butterfly
Into a horrid beast
You are enchanted by her kindred eyes
And a kiss that seems so rare
Unable to feel what you can feel
But fakes the feelings you believe to share
A brittle rose still stunning
Will shatter at your touch

A never ending story
Searching for something long lost
Denial of identity
Scorned from a painful bluff
A losing hand from any glance
With a pokerface to trust
Engulfed in the blazing flare
Of the fire that burns so deep
Now smoldered, she is unable to just breath

Tick Tick Tock says the kitchen clock
Time to play another role
Wake up and hear the birds
While the thunderous skies will roars
Smitten with intricate details
She finds a saving grace
Poetry reveals her secret world
It's a tempory escape from everything
A moment of utter silence without having to face the pain

Daydreaming

Wishing for a brighter day
For any great moment to come my way
To wake up feeling loved and cherished
To go to bed knowing I have fulfulled my destiny
To look up in the sky and never see a rainy day
To see my children's faces and wipe the pain away
To watch over all my loved ones and know they are fine
To give and to recieve without a guilt in mind
Wishing for no sorrow or suffering to bestow
For all the anguish and devestation to just go
To see the smiling faces of everyone I meet
To walk into a room of children laughing and singing
To lay upon the green grass staring blankly in the sky
To remember all the good times shared with I and I
To furvently embrace the challenges that may come
To daydream of a world where you and I can be
Wishing for nothing more
For we have everything

The Second Link

I caught a glimse of my dreams come true
I thought I found someone special in you
I prayed day and night for what I believed you to be
I was disappointed as I watched you leave

For months I sat and cried to my friends
Wearing their patience and understanding thin
Hoping you would come back and stay with me
Not realizing that you were as fake as can be

I can sometimes still find you in my heart
I smile when reminicing, but you were only playing your part
You were everything I had ever wanted and more
Which is why I died the night you walked out my door

Now the next man has come and found a bitter bitch
His heart is eagar and personality is rich
I chased him away because of the pain you caused
Your game is tight, you deserve an applause

Yet he didn't leave, not right away
He saw something more, behind the pain
He prayed, he fought, and was brutally attacked
And now all I wish is to have him back

A Burning Bridge

It's always wonderous to see
A monument burnt to the ground
Inquizative minds immaginate
The how the when the why and who

Dangerous hearts with fading souls
Pouring out their identity
Leading paths to gaps in the earth
Torn between right and wrong
We burn the inbetween
And forget our own needs

Without thought a match is lit and dropped
Before the night is over a bridge is burnt
Leaving no way in and no way out
Time to rebuild, but where does one begin

The unforgiven act of insecure people
Craving attention, but only for one night
Names are misused the circle remains round
Debates of what is truth still remains lies
Guarding against what can cause me pain
I burn my end of the bridge with you

King Among Kings

When you look at me, all you see is a dead man walking. Is that what you see? A man that desires to be something he will never be. I grow, I change, I learn just like every other human being. Why can't I also be free? I recognize that I want to be more like you, strong and independent. I command respect with my stride, yet it threatens your pride and you shame me. I am poised with dignity, yet you refuse to empower me. I am a threat to you, or so you claim. There is no justification in the proclamation for I am just me. I am just another man among many who must survive life, another victim to the world of dreams. Do you really worry about where I'm going? What difference does it make? My stops are many, yet few and far between. I walk along the shallow shores of tides that steadily rise. The sun is shining brightly in midst's of a setting sky. I am searching for inspiration, something to show you that we are equal, yet all you choose to see is my past and assume it to be my future too. You still view me as a dead man walking with no hope or path: just a pathetic loser that somehow found himself in the same vicinity as you. I admire your power and glory, yet we are not meant to be alike. You wonder how I could keep my head high and my eyes situated on the clouds. You try to break me down with angry words of discouragement, but they have no bearing on my soul. I am humble. Although I seek to be as free as you, I would not sell myself short. Now I see that you are meek. You make yourself look stronger by shredding people like me down to your feet. It angers you that I will not lower my head, but now I see the threat I pose. Not only am I another man, I am a King in the presence of a King. Fear not, I am a friend and come in peace. See, that is the difference between you and me.

Linguistic Mourning

I must write to get you off my chest
I must say to you want needs to be said
I must move on to find a better day
I must look forward because its the only way

I know you never meant to do me any wrong
I know I find it hard to believe that your love is gone
I know the pain I feel will eventually fade away
I know the light will shine through a sky of grey

I believed you when you told me all the lies you did
I believed we would last forever fighting amongst the midsts
I believed there was something worth fighting for
I believed life would bring you and you would give me more

I tried to let you be and make the right decision for you
I tried to find it in my heart but I was forced to remain true
I tried for many months to move forward with my life
I tried to heal the pain by pulling out your knife

I waited for you at first of course because the love runs deep
I waited for the love you brought and left on bended knee
I waited for the truth of who you really were
I waited too long because now you are no more

I sensed that trouble was lurking and ignored my inner gutt
I sensed that you were nothing but a no good flee bitten mutt
I sensed the truth and denied it and gave you all I had
I sensed all I went through with you from the good to the bad

I have to take advantage of what little time I have left
I have to try and do whats right and make it all the best
I have a hole in my heart that seems unfillable
I have to find a way so I don't cry for you tomorrow

I hate what you have done to me and the pain that you have caused
I hate when I look at you or hear your name I pause
I hate that I can't get over it because you betrayed my trust
I hate that you left me dirty, tainted and with disgust

I would have reciprocated all the wrong that you have done
I would try to hurt you because revenge can be fun
I would do anything I can to bear my broken heart to you
I would but karma can do more damage than I can ever do

I leave you with your words and lies waiting to haunt your soul
I leave you with all the wrong you've done with a 1 way ticket to hell
I leave you with my misery as I journey to the sky
I leave you with my love... this is another goodbye

You

You said that it would get better
You said that it would go away
You said that I just needed time
You said that I should pray

You said that you were carrying baggage
You said that you loved me so
You said that I was the one for you
You said that you would never hurt me though

You said a lot of things that were terribly untrue
You said a lot of things you didn't seem to mean
You said a lot of things that had me lying to myself
You said a lot of things that I blindly did believe

You said that it would get better
You said that it would go away
You said that I just needed time
You said that I should pray

You said some things that meant the world
You said some things I would die for
You said some things that I hold dear
You said some things I hear no more

You said words that conjured thought
You said words that haunt me late at night
You said words that invoked change
You said words that can still make me cry

You said that it would get better
You said that it would go away
You said that I just needed time
You said that I should pray

Another Link

I never meant to hurt you the way that I did
The pain that I caused was caused by the first woman instead
She was the one you wanted while I was second best
Yet you loved me like I was her and I never took interest
Caught between a pinnacle of love and something so much less
You made me feel like I was something
When to you I was just a piece of ass

I know her name I see her soul
I met her, the one you can’t let go
You tried to make me everything she is
You tried so hard yet couldn’t resist
You wanted the life you planned with her
Yet your past is who you were
Your cheating ways won again
Til you die a cheating man

Lara, Loan and Corey just some of many names
A roster, a collection, a heart so full of pain
Anger, resentment, and tears just the same
But a womans love is just a game
You chase, you embrase and replace with no remorse
A bitter resentment and a way to even the score
Your love an illusion, a lie you live
Who are you really? What answer can you give?

I, myself, have felt the pain
The charm of a person lost to shame
The lies of a human so bitter and scorned
A chain reaction I take part no more
I will not pass on your game
The one you live night and day
I will not take part in the angry ways of a broken heart

You say to me again the words you always say
I never meant to hurt you
You never meant to hurt me, but you never meant to stay
You never meant to love me and cause me so much pain
You never had any plans beyond sleeping in my bed
You never had intentions built inside your head
You saw something and couldn’t resist
Your past will forever haunt you
Because your past is who you is

Give up, let go, move on you say
Because you never meant to hurt me this way
You never meant to kill my soul
You never meant to let me go
You tell more lies than you even know
Because your love is still so cold
The pain she caused you returned to me
The love you had you found in me
You spared me from your evil ways
You let me go with lies to my face

A broken promise to her was made
Because you caused me this much pain

A three part action has been done
To me, to her and to your self
I am not the only one to suffer the loss of a loved one
I am a victim in a relationship that never ends
I am a broken heart, a link… continuing the pain
By never letting another get close
Forever pushing men away
Count down how many woman you played

You turned us all into the likeness of you
Great woman changed into chain links spreading your disease
Hurting other great men and adding them to the cause
Leaving generations wondering what you've done
You believe the lies you tell and regret nothing
And now, we follow in your footsteps casting shaddows in the world
Sharing your bitter darkened ways
By aiming for our goal of never being hurt again

We chase men down in the dark of night
We let them in until the light
We embrace them ever so much and let them see our souls
But when feelings begin to emerge
We replace them with new love and let them go
We disappoint so many people who watch our pain grow
You sowed a seed a dangerous seed
But still I just can't let go

A guarded heart with disillusioned hope
Holding on to another day
A friendship led by lies and then just thrown away
You bear false witness to immortal men
You judge those that see
You turn your back in a cold moment
Leaving so much irreversible pain
You left behind so much more than just me

Spreading around the love I lost in a bitter resentful state
Is not the person I choose to be
Yet some how I ended up just the same as you
Of course I think I have it all figured out
Of course I wish to find a way to be free
One day I will stand in front of you and laugh
One day.... you will see... one day you will want me back
And just like you I will say move on my friend
Give up, just let go... I am not a victim anymore!

A woman's heart

A womans heart is a precious thing
More valuable than gold
Once it's taken it can never be returned
But most men choose to let go

Men don't understand the damage they can cause
When entering a womans heart
It's as if pain is foreign to them
Like the wounds they leave won't scar

"Move on" they say with callus voices
"For I have done just that"
Yet the love we hold in our precious hearts
Won't allow us to be like that man

We hold on to the past with a stagnant grip
Crying when songs are played
Hoping one day that he will come back
With sorrow upon his face

We miserably wait for the man that stole
The most valuable part of us
Only for us to turn around months later
And realize all that has been lost

My heart goes out to each precious heart
That has been affected by a man
Cassy, my friend, we will be alright
This was not part of God's plan!

Remember

I want to apologize for blaming you
I want to say sorry for the things I do
I hope you know I never meant wrong
You had me weak, needing to hold on

Your best interest was in my heart
I truly believed we would never part
You were my lover, my friend, my man, my King
You stole my heart, you were my everything

I cried from the pain for days, weeks and months
I would have done anything just to feel your touch
I waited and begged and prayed to God
But to me, your heart does not belong

I realize that now, so I'm letting you go
Time to move on and now I know
Your purpose in my life was so plain to see
Yet through it all I refused to believe

You loved me so much and as best as you could
Yet, somehow, that love was misunderstood
The loss had me so angry, bitter and scorned
Blaming the world and you as I mourned

I was missing out on the beauty of life
When I shut out the world and hid all my cries
Losing you really hurt me deep
But I never lost you and that's what I see

I see that I never had you, never at all
Because if I did our love would stand tall
Please remember the times that we had
Because all those memories are all that I have

I love you Marcello, I always will
I wish you the best from now until
I pray for your happiness, your health, your love
But as of now, I have had enough...

Goodbye Jello

Whatever it is...

What ever it is that you have done is still unknown to me
From the moment we met till the bitter end I was as blinded as can be
You took the time to make me feel safe within the haven of your arms
Then turned your back when least expected leaving me open to worldly harms

What ever it is that you have done to me still causes so much pain
From the moment we met until right now I loved you just the same
You took my hand and held my heart and shattered it in front of my eyes
But the man I know, the one I love, is solely based on lies

What ever it is that you have done is cruel and far from kind
From the moment we met, the very start, you were playing with my mind
You took my fears and set me free, but only to challenge your skills
The love I gave and shared with you was used merely for your thrills

What ever it is that you have done nearly took my life
From the moment we met I feared your motives, but still I let you try
You took my walls and broke them down leaving me nowhere to hide
You vanquished my shelter, my solitude, my anguish and my pride

What ever it is that you have done still has an unbreakable hold
From the moment we met you buried your bones deep within my soul
You took the most cherished part of me and have yet to let it go
Silly am I for believing that our love was free to grow

What ever it is that you have done needs to come to an end
From the moment we met I did my best to be a loyal friend
You took my kindness for a weakness and have yet to feel my wrath
The damage is done, the wound is deep… I hope we never cross paths

What ever it is that you have done I forgive you as best I can
From the moment we met I always thought you to be an amazing man
You took your chances and are doing what's right based on the facts today
Tomorrow will soon come, but right now for your happiness is all that I pray

What ever it will be, will be...